I have spent 10 years in a place I used to call Home only to realize that in no time I became an unwanted guest in it and only to realize that it was never Home to start with.

 

I deep down always knew it was never home. It was just a rented place with some homey criteria attempts. No homey soul though.

 

The sheer mere reason for that is because I have never found Home in my ex-partner heart.

 

It took me few years wondering where is Home and it is definitely not just the house I made with all the love and efforts of the world.

 

In my journey of finding “Home” I had weird discoveries that might not make any sense to you but they did and still do to me. Home meant beyond me physically making my own place with all the emotional and financial investments.

 

Here is where I found home.

 

Home is a beach when I am alone and waves break at my feet. Beach is my wildest home.

 

Home is a comfy plane seat feeling unreachable (despite the wifi onboard) feeling secure in the middle of space unlike what everybody feels. Possibly trying to be on cloud number 9?!

 

Home is a warm hotel lobby and a cozy room with white slightly scented sheets and a nice floor lamp. Hotels rarely feel home to anyone but to me they do.

 

Home is being the coach in a tumultuous emotional vulnerable session.

 

Home is hiding in “his” arms on a random night and him whispering “all is going to be all right”.

 

Home is coming back to my favorite purple velvet bed after a long day only to find my little angel sleeping there and hugging and smelling her all night.

 

Home is coming back to this same bed with a note on it from my handsome boy thanking me for little things I did to him that I didn’t even know I would even expect to be appreciated.

 

Home is being snuggled in my fluffy armchair with a blanket and a nice book that I read and savor slowly so that it lasts longer.

 

Home is a voice message from my mom when I first open my eyes making sure that my tummy has healed from a cramp I don’t even remember from yesterday.

 

Home is being able to sit all alone without being scared of what this aloness would bring.

 

Home is where we are loved even when we cease to love ourselves. It is where we are loved despite the worst version of us that can surface from time to time no matter how good we are in burying it.

 

Home is a sanctuary away from the rough life. Yet this sanctuary belongs only deep down our souls. Home is very deep inside of us.

 

Home is a person.

 

Home is a feeling

 

Home is inner peace.

 

Home is where the heart is.